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THE ROAD TO SANTIAGO, click
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More memoir than travelogue, Harrison's contribution to National
Geographic's Directions series is reflective and deeply personal,
yet still manages to recreate a physical place in all its rugged,
peaceful glory. The titular road is a 400-mile path beginning in
France and ending in Santiago, in northwestern Spain. A thousand-year-old
pilgrimage route, the road can be walked in segments or in total,
and touches upon her three separate trips along the camino. She
bravely-some might say illogically-makes her first pilgrimage (in
1992) solo (solita), when she's seven months pregnant. Her second-and
perhaps most significant-voyage along the camino comes seven years
later, alone again. The third trip, which she makes with her 12-year-old
daughter, is the one that begins this book, and kicks off the series
of lessons Harrison learns along the way. Traveling with an adolescent,
Harrison discovers "the grace to quit." As she walks "toward
the invisible, the improbable, the ridiculous," the author
discards extra soap and leaking bottles of sunscreen in an effort
to lighten her pack (although she refuses to toss the pages of her
novel-in-progress, as it defines who she is). She meets other pilgrims
and some intriguing locals, continually "putting one foot in
front of the other," an act which, on its own, is not dramatic,
but "can wreak inner havoc." In rearranging her priorities
(e.g., does she have enough water to make it to the next town?)
and admitting defeat (which has an oddly relaxing effect), Harrison
comes to learn-and indeed, teaches readers-the importance of acceptance.
A Pilgrim's
Progress
by Carolyn See, for Washington Post BookWorld
Extreme sorrows
call for extreme cures. Those who have read Kathryn Harrison's other,
earlier works will guess that perhaps much of the author's real
and artistic life may be devoted to exorcising demons. "The
Road to Santiago," therefore, is to be read as more than travel
literature, or even an account of pilgrimage in the comparatively
lighthearted Chaucerian sense. The author's pilgrimage, along the
ancient roads and paths from St.-Jean-Pied-de-Port in France across
the top of Spain to the Cathedral of Santiago de Compostela is not
a mere literary exercise. Again and again, through several actual
journeys, Harrison douses her head with water; rinsing, washing,
cleansing herself of ill fortune, bad luck, evil, mythic wolves
of every kind. For her, this journey pits spiritual life against
death.
The first journey we see here (actually the last in chronological
time) presents at first as breezy journalism: Kathryn Harrison and
her beloved 12-year-old daughter, Sarah, fly into Paris, take the
bus south and commence to walk west on ancient paths. Harrison fills
us in on the need, in medieval times, for the Catholic Church to
have erected the shrine to St. James, and why, since the 9th century,
pilgrims have felt the need to walk this road.
So here they
are, brave mother, plucky daughter, in the year 2002, setting out
-- to travel not the entire 400 miles to Santiago but a healthy
portion of it, together. Both are encumbered with extra baggage:
the mom with a manuscript of a novel-in-progress in her backpack,
the daughter laden with glossy magazines teaching her how to be
a stylish grown-up.
There is no
word here about whether they trained for this project -- or if,
indeed, training is appropriate for what is supposed to be a penance
for body and soul. One truth, after four days, is that Sarah runs
out of physical and emotional steam. Harrison is torn. Has she brought
her daughter on this "not-a-vacation" to build a relationship
with her in the traditional, cheery way, or does she need to teach
Sarah about suffering, about how people with the very best of intentions
sometimes find themselves in a hell of their own making? During
this first recorded pilgrimage -- again, the most recent -- when
Sarah becomes disheartened, her mother decides to end the trip early,
to quit.
Flash back to
1992, when, seven months pregnant with her second child, the author
took off, half-crazy it seems, on a pilgrimage to the shrine of
St. James, weeping and alone, incurring the scorn and pity of ordinary
citizens who couldn't understand why she was wandering about, pregnant
and apparently unhinged. She had, to all intents and purposes, broken
down. It was the year before "Exposure" would come out,
the novel that prefigures her horrifying memoir, "The Kiss."
Now flash forward
to 1999, two years after "The Kiss" appeared. "Having
been ill and only recently recovered," she writes, "my
health seems newly valuable, precious if no longer precarious."
It seems reasonable to assume that she's speaking here of both her
body and her soul. Harrison is out to make the whole pilgrimage,
to come to terms with her family and her past. She imagined, she
says, that she would be something like King Lear out on the heath,
storming at life's tragic injustices. Instead, the journey unfolded
one dogged step at a time. The last half of this book is concerned
with Harrison's effort to achieve both self-knowledge and a larger
knowledge of how the world works.
Harrison's mother
was unloving and withholding. (On occasion she made candy, which
Kathryn chewed and then spit out.) Her father was her foul seducer.
There it is. But after 100 miles or so of hard walking, footsore
and weary beyond words, Harrison can only conclude that her grandparents,
her parents and she all loved each other. And that her past is hers.
She owns it.
She walked and
walked and hurt her knee and bought an elastic bandage. She denied
herself the solace of a chocolate bar but came close to stealing
holy oil used in Anointing of the Sick. She wept oceans of tears.
She kept walking late at night. She was terrified of four-legged
and two-legged wolves. (One old man tried to pick her up; another
kept pace with her, even while masturbating.) She took very bad
care of herself. She stayed in horrible inns and wonderful ones.
She ate wretched food and perfect dinners served by loving hands.
She sweated in the sun and almost drowned in the rain. She avoided
company but called home every time she found a phone. It's safe
to say she was attempting a journey between two worlds, her nightmare
past and her hopeful future -- if she could just cleanse herself,
pour enough water on her head, be, in fact, redeemed.
It was not,
and won't be, easy. At the Santiago cathedral, finally, at a Mass
on Palm Sunday, Harrison sat next to "a nun who is offended
by my grubby and unfeminine attire, so much so that she cannot bring
herself to look at me, not even when the congregants are directed
by the priest to offer one another a sign of peace." Maybe
there will be no peace for Harrison. Only heroic (perhaps saintly)
acceptance.
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